to new beginnings...

it is official. i have neglected my blog from the very start. so on this second day of the new year, i will put forth my best effort to discontinue the neglect. this new year has brought many mixed emotions. the holiday season was difficult. it was our first holiday season without my brother. i know that no one is reading this, but if you are, my brother passed away in june from diabetes. it's been difficult for the family, especially my parents. however, i will not dwell too much on it in this blog. he is loved and missed.

on a more positive note, school starts back in approximately eight days. i am beyond excited. for the first time in my life, i have a 4.0 grade point average and i could not be more proud of myself.

i have decided not to make any sort of new year's resolutions, because i mean come on... who really keeps them? come february, everyone will be back into their routines and new year's resolutions will be but a vague memory. i do, however, intend to get back on track with p90x. i am unhappy with my physical appearance and i want to change it. i am not uncomfortable and i do not think of myself as obese or fat. i do not think i am ugly. i do not think any of these negative things. i am just unhappy with my current level of unhealthy living. i plan to change that soon. fingers crossed.

i am not dating, and i really can't say that i am interested in dating. my efforts to meet anyone have really been lackluster. i've met some really nice guys, but for some reason i just can't seem to focus and give my all. i don't know what's wrong with me really. maybe i'm still too bruised from the events of 2009. i've still got some healing to do. i think i have really pushed a lot of the emotion to the back of my mind and not dealt with it.

on that note, i am going to close for now.

happy new year.